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[quote=Anonymous]I went on two interviews two weeks ago, and both families offered me the job. It was such a hard decision I actually met with each family a second time to make extra sure that I was making the right choice.

Family A has ten month old twins. They had not actually started a nanny search, but had been complaining to a friend about the sub-par care they were getting from grandma, and their friend, my former MB, recommended me to them. I felt immediately at ease with MB and DB. They seemed very laid back and nice. Their kids were adorable and sweet. The only issues were that they have a very small house, and DB works from home (he has an office but it is right next to the play area); since the kids have been staying with Grandma on weekdays he isn't used to trying to get work done with the kids just outside his office door (and they aren't used to being home with Daddy all day either). The other issue, and it's a bit one, is that they have a large pit bull mix dog, which growled, snarled, and threatened to snap at the kids. The kids also loved the dog, so they kept trying to get it (and every time it growled and snarled). MB told me they had put up a baby gate to keep the dog separate from the kids, but when she put the dog behind the gate, it stood right at the gate whining to get back in (it likes adults, just not kids), and the kids kept crawling right over to the gate and sticking their hands through (while the dog growled the whole time). DB said he could try to keep the dog in his office most of the day, but said his office was small (like their house, he joked), and that he probably couldn't keep the dog in there the whole day. They told me they planned to move to a bigger house nearby at some point in the next year. Family A offered $15/hr and said the hours would be 8am to 5pm daily.

Family B has a three month old infant. They also have two older kids (5 and 7), the product of a previous marriage. I'm told the older children are only with them every other week, and only from Wednesday through Sunday, so out of every ten days I work with them I'd only see them for 3 days, and only after they get home from school in the afternoon. DB works from home every other week, and times it so he is there with his older kids, and promised that he will be responsible for them while they are there (he said when they are on summer break I will be watching the older kids, too, but they have promised to compensate me extra for watching them of course). They have a dog; it is very small and seems very sweet, but it does tend to bark a lot which concerns me for nap time (MB says DD is a light sleeper and that the dog has woken her up before). I mentioned my concern about that, suggesting perhaps the dog should stay in the basement during nap time or something, but MB didn't like that idea (she said her dog was very trainable, and she felt confident the dog could be trained not to bark so much?). Family B offered $15/hr as well. They told me their schedule would be 11am to 6pm most days in February, and expanding to 10am to 6pm in March. They also said they would need me to come in at 8am a few times per month, and also would need a few late nights per month (until 8pm), but they assured me repeatedly that I would be given at least two weeks notice for any schedule changes.

It was a really hard decision but I ultimately went with family B for two reasons: Family A's dog was so hostile towards the children I was terrified it would attack them while I was on the job and then I'd be held responsible for it, and also because it was the same pay for one child vs two. Family A told me they were very sad, but they understood, and that they really liked me and "if I ever become available again to please let them know."

I told family B last Saturday (now nine days ago) that I'd accepted the job. I asked MB that day to please let me know the schedule for the first week ASAP (she had told me she might need extra hours that week). When I hadn't heard from her by Tuesday night, I sent her an email (very polite, just saying that email was the easiest way for me to plan my schedule and to just let me know once she had set the times for my first week). She responded back Wednesday morning, and told me she wanted to have an online calendar that would be shared via iCloud so we could both be on the same page. I told her I liked that idea, and she said she would set up the calendar and email me an invite to it. We then had some tech/compatibility issues (I added the calendar but couldn't seem to view it, etc), which we worked on resolving Wednesday night and Thursday morning. By Thursday afternoon, I was able to view the calendar. Then I realized that she hadn't actually added my first weeks schedule, just the hours for my first day (next Monday). The hours she put for Monday were 8am to 7pm.

Now, she had said she would need me early some days, and late some days, but she hadn't made it clear that some days would be both early and late; an 11 hour day for my first day was not what I was expecting. I told her that I was happy to work those hours the first day, and am happy to work early or late when she needs it, but I requested that most days please not be for quite so long, or, particularly, quite so late. I reiterated that occasional days staying until 7 or 8 was fine, but explained that my boyfriend works at 6am and is in bed by 9, so I preferred not to work past 6 or 6:30 most days. She said that was fine, and said she would have the rest of the schedule up soon (she said Thursday was busy for her, but Friday was more open, so she'd have time to work on it then).

I've been checking the calendar regularly and she has not added any more to it, just the first day. Last night I was feeling very frustrated; I start in one week and I still don't know the hours I'm working yet, aside from my first day! I sent her an email last night. I tried to remain as polite as possible, but let her know that I really need to know my schedule for the first week ASAP. I said if it's just not showing up due to more technical issues that she could just email me the schedule and we can try to troubleshoot the online calendar stuff together when I see her next week.

In that email I also addressed another concern that had occurred to me: the online calendar can be changed at any time. It worries me that they could possibly change the calendar at any time, without any notice, and could potentially hold me responsible for it if I don't check it the night before, etc. I had a former client, years ago, who had completely taken advantage of me in a similar way. It wasn't an online calendar but she would just text me the night before I was to work, some nights literally as late as 11pm, and tell me what time to come in in the morning (and half the time it was 8 or 9, but frequently she would say 6am or even noon, without any notice whatsoever). Clearly, I want to eliminate the possibility of that sort of thing from happening here, so I politely requested that changes not be made to the calendar with less than two weeks notice. I said I was flexible and understand that sometimes last minute changes are necessary, but requested that she call, text, or email me in those cases (and not just change the calendar).

That email was sent at 6pm last night. It is now 2:30pm and I've heard nothing from her, and the calendar has not been updated. I'm starting to get the impression that MB feels annoyed and maybe even antagonized by me continually asking for the schedule, but what choice do I have? Honestly the irregular schedule was the biggest red flag for me with this family in our initial interview, but they assured me over and over again they'd give me my schedule at least two weeks in advance. Here it is, nine days after I accepted the position, six days after my second request for the first weeks schedule, and less than one week before I start, and they still have not given it to me! On the one hand, I understand that I am MBs first nanny and she is probably trying to figure out her schedule and how much she will need me. On the other hand, I've given her plenty of time, but moreover, if it's this early in the game, before I've even begun working for them, and we're already having this issue, how can I expect things to improve later down the line??

I am seriously contemplating getting back in touch with family A to see if I can work with them after all, growling pit bull or not!

What do you guys think? Should I give family B more time? Could things possibly impeove with them? Or should I just call up family A right now?[/quote]

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