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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We hired a very well educated and experienced nanny.  For the first six weeks we were so thankful for her because she seemed to know everything and really gave us peace of mind.

Now that our DD is older our nanny still feels the need to have her opinion about everything.  What she wears, what she eats, where she sleeps, what we clean with, how we will discipline so on and so forth.  It's driving us mad!

We wanted to try a modified version of CIO, she refused and sent a novel of an e-mail about how damaging it is.  She wants us to ban plastic and electronic toys because she feels the rob the child of imaginative play and overstimulate.  She wants us to only feed her homemade food, and forget about rice cereal.  Only clothe diapers, and if not only organic natural diapers. It's never ending and [b]makes us feel like we have no control.
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We do appreciate her opinion, and know she is well educated but in the end she is our child.  How can we make the switch for trusting our nanny to make the call to moving it to us?

In the past she was a nanny who pretty much 100% in charge of how the child was raised, and that's not what we want.[/quote]
Of course you have control. It may feel like you don't, but you actually do.

Who buys the diapers for your DD? That settles the question of what diapers she will use. Case closed.

Who buys the food she eats? That settles the question of what she would eat.  Case closed.

Who buys the toys for her? That settles the question of what she will play with. Case closed.

She is welcome to have her opinion about how children should sleep and be disciplined, and apply it to her own children.  Since she did not birth your child, she cannot make these decisions for her.  Stop pandering. You are the boss. Make your position known, and make it known that you expect the nanny to follow through your course.  Make it clear that this, and not any other way, is how things will be done.  Stop thinking that you need to win her agreement on anything, or that there are any arguments you need to make to win.  You just need to tell her how you want things done.  And again, if necessary.  If challenged, do not argue, do not get upset etc.  Say "this is what we decided and this is what we want." End of story.

Note that this will change the power balance in your relationship, and as a result, the nanny may no longer want the job. This is fine.  The nanny's job is to remove stress, not generate it.  If her presence increases your stress, she's not doing her job. [/quote]

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