Reply to What to do about kid who hits/kicks me out of frustration?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It isn't up to OP to stop this behavior, but his parents responsibility.  If one of my kids ever acted like this, I would have accepted this as my responsibility, not the au pairs.u[/quote]

I really don't see it as an issue of responsibility.  I have had good partnerships with all my au pairs.  I think for sure the mom needs to be addressing this, and it sounds like she is engaged...  but it requires teamwork.  Because even if Mom comes up with a brilliant solution, it won't help if it doesn't work for the au pair and the kid is hitting the au pair during the day when Mom isn't around.

To the OP -- I'd talk to the Mom.  In my view, 6 is too old for this behavior, unless the child has some significant special needs.  Tell the Mom, "we need a plan."  And then be ready to support it.  Give the plan a few weeks to see if it is working.  If it doesn't, go back to host mom and say, "we need a new plan, this one isn't working."

I'm curious whether the child just hits the AP, or whether he also hits the mom?

If it were MY child, and especially if he were 6 (and not special needs), I would pull him aside and give him a really stern talking to -- and probably a punishment.  I'd reinforce to him that AP and I are on the same team, that AP has MY respect, and that he had better behave -- or else.  I think the Mom needs to go to bat for the AP in this instance.  But if Host mom is just shrugging it off with a "gee, I don't know why he's doing that?" with no plan in sight... THAT is a problem.  If that is the problem, you probably need to have a really mature conversation with host mom, and say, "Hey Host Mom -- I understand that little Billy is going through a time of transition-- and he's acting out -- but I"m really concerned about the hitting.  How would you like me to handle it?  Or is there something else I can do that will ease him through the transition?"

Giver her some time to think if she needs it... but you need to slowly escalate the discussion with the Mom until she takes notice and gets a plan.  Alternatively, you can propose a plan (if he hits me, I'm going to take his TV time away)... but I think its always better to see if Mom has a plan first.

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