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[quote=Anonymous]We had a similar situation. I explained that we had done background checks on her, but not her husband, and that our worker's comp covered her, and not her husband. I also was not confident that he had her instincts when it comes to child care about when a game is inappropriate, for example (I know a 4-year-old will call someone a "pooh-pooh head," but the caregiver should model better ways of speaking).

But we also thought he was a good guy, and the children enjoyed spending time with him. So, I made it clear that she had to supervise while he was around (no leaving the children with him while she took a break, or ran an errand, or did anything else), and that she had to enforce our rules.

At one point, I did feel it had gotten out of hand, and we had to limit his visits.

In the case you describe, I would have expected her to ask ahead of time, and I would consider talking to her about running the same checks on him you ran on her, and also sitting down to talk to him. I would not be comfortable with her choosing to leave the baby with someone I don't know well.[/quote]

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