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Reply to "advice on how to tell your nanny you are disappointed"
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[quote=Anonymous]i have had the same nanny for 4 years.. i trust her with my kids and house etc.. i don't ask much of her at all.. i just want her to love my children and help shape them into respectful and polite children.. she and i have talked about TV and phone use.. i don't like them.. I am not intolerant and realize there are times when phone is ok briefly - just don't gab on it.. i can even see a reason why on special or unique occassions turning the TV on is ok.. but the main point is she says to me she agrees with me... and i expect her to not have the tv on when the kids are up and to use the phone sparingly and in the right moments... about me and my family.. my husband is strict and more rigid.. we pay her to pay close attention to our kids.. i am more lenient .. my children are independent and play by themselves well... but right now, one of my focuses is to help foster playing well with friends or each other.. sharing etc.. kids are 2 and 4 i have a very flexible job and cart my kids around but try to stay out of the house to give her space and not make it difficult for her.. my husband pops in and out on some days when he is in town for lunch or to see the kids or whatever.. not a long visit but not planned.. my husband has informed me he has come home on nearly every occassion and she is on the phone..sometimes my son has a dirty diaper.. i listen to what he says but don't typically act on it.. because I trust she is not gabing and i know she will get the diaper - my kids don't have diaper rashes ever and if they get red, i'll say something like - he seems to be getting a rash.. just check often etc.. Common sense! Recently my son fell from a jungle gym with her here - never with me or my husband.. i was told she was inside when it happened.. i came home to find her sitting on the couch when my infant was on the ground away from her...she jumped up to sit with him when she realized i was home.. my daughter was at school.. then later in years I came home and she was reading her book on the couch.. my son was next to her but she was literally reading a chapter book.. i hate finding those situations which I hope are random so to be perfectly honest I avoid surprising her.. today, my daughter told me she didn't like what my nanny was watching on TV.. it scared her.. she was really upset about it (my daughter is extremely sensitive.. )...i am in shock... it was some mom going to the police not because she was lost but because she was in trouble or something and my daughter doesn't want me to do that... WHAT THE ???? i try to stay calm and ask her questions without looking pissed... i trust she was was watching that - it could not have been made up. the fact that my daughter caught that much of it makes me trust it wasn't just put on for a moment... my daughter told me she and my son were just in the room while the nanny watched.. Now I am looking for help... how do you bring this up? I don't want her to be anything negative to my children tomorrow.. but i also don't want it to happen again.. I am going to remove the remote but would you say something the next day or wait until her last day that week? do you have thoughts on how serious this is? Things you can say? i clearly didn't catch her.. she will come back to me with some excuse i am sure... just wanted to see if anyone had any guidance for me... this is my first and only nanny I don't usually say anything over the little phone use or even the book reading - though I debated that one for days... now i am just getting fed up and thinkng she is getting lazy and maybe taking advantage of her easy gig.. I pay her a full and fair salary and NEVER use her for all of the hours I pay her.. thanks for your helpful advice.. [/quote]
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