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[quote=Anonymous]Maybe, just maybe, one more talk - essentially, a warning. You will have to call her out on everything, and point out that honesty and compliance with your instructions are of utmost importance.

Explain that you know she wants to do what seems best for your child and that you are open to suggestions in some areas but on certain things like diet and naptimes you are firm, because in these areas you have established already that this is necessary/the best approach, and that you want to be clear that cell phone use must be limited. It is always constructive to point out the things you appreciate about your nanny in this situation (warm, caring etc) but I think the main emphasis should be on your concerns, so she understands the gravity of the situation.

Do you have a written agreement? If so, perhaps it's time to amend it, highlighting to her what you've added to address the areas where there are issues (cell phone use, naps, diet, etc.). If not, perhaps write up a daily routine with nap times, meal times including foods and drink that may/may not be given, and overall guidelines on cell phone usage and anything else important. In either case, go over it with her in person.

I actually think she does not sound like a very well adjusted person and I would question her competency if she cannot do certain things like comply about the kind of milk the child has. To say that the child wanted a different kind of milk sounds weak/borderline passive-aggressive, and the failure to follow your instructions/lie to cover things up sounds irresponsible and disrespectful. The most I would do would be give a warning and see if things change. If after a couple of weeks things hadn't improved meaningfully I would look for a new nanny.
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