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[quote=Anonymous]We have a nanny who loves our DS.  She is affectionate and usually engaged, as far as we know.  Our nanny is flexible and so are we as employers.  Our nanny, however, tells constant "white lies" about naps, meals, small accidents, lateness, days off.  The real stories are not so bad, but for some reason our nanny feels the need to lie about it, I imagine its because she is afraid of what we might do or say, despite never having done or said anything.  This has gone one from the beginning (its been about 4 months) and we have never been angry with her, so I am not sure what she thinks is going to happen.  The first time she tried to cover up an accident, about a week and a half after starting, I very calmly told her that I really wanted us to have an open line of communication, that I totally understand how something like this could happen (scratch on DS's leg), but that I need to feel that she is always honest with me.  She continues to make up nonsensical stories.

I suspect our nanny uses her cell phone a lot during work.  Almost every day in both the mornings and evenings she gets calls and texts that she takes.

She is a terrible listener.  We have repeated easy directions for certain things to her a million times, and she will not listen-- "please put Larlo to nap at 2" results in "oh we went for a walk and didn't get back until 2:30, so I didn't put him down until 3" or "please give Larlo almond milk, not cow milk" results in "I think Larlo wanted  cow milk, not almond milk, so I gave him cow milk" or other stuff like that.  Repeatedly.

I do not want to micro manage, but its frustrating that she does not follow our instructions.  We have talked to her about specific incidents-- "do not give him cow milk when we ask you to give him almond milk" and we have written down very clear directions as well.  Her English is great.   I think she just simply does not want to listen to us, and wants to do what she thinks is best for our DS.  That is not okay with us.

Since we have addressed the individual incidents and nothing has improved, do we sit down and talk about how we want this to work, but we need improvement on 1. honesty, 2. cell phone usage, and 3. following our directions or do we cut our losses and let her go?  I am concerned that she won't really get it if we talk to her and might be resentful that we call her out, especially on the honesty bit, and I hate to sour the relationship with the person who is in my home taking care of DS.

Thoughts?

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