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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let the twins be together.  They won't wake one another up.  Let them be in the same room.

[b]Get them on a schedule ASAP[/b].  If they are on a routine then, 1) you actually have a prayer of getting some sleep, instead of always having one twin awake and needing something, 2) you can anticipate their needs and be prepared to respond (instead of A crying for 10 minutes while you nurse B, you can have a bottle pumped for A--and yes, tandom nursing/feeding is doable, but not if you have a tough nurser or a reflux baby who needs to be held just so in order to keep food down).

[b]What happens to one, happens to the other[/b].  If one wakes and wants to nurse, when he/she is done, nurse the other twin.  Usually, I would say don't wake a sleeping newborn, but for twins, it's the only way to get them in sync.  So if A wakes from nap early, wake B within 20 minutes so that both will be ready for the next feed and nap around the same time.  The only exceptions are if one has moderate to severe medical issues and/or you have two adults caring for them full time (e.g., mom and nanny all day and mom and dad all night).

[b]Know that a lot of it will be just meeting their basic needs.  There will be little-to-no down time where tou just stare at them lovingly.[/b]  There will be too much to do just keeping them both fed, clean and well-rested.

Relatedly: [b]if it works, do it.[/b]  If twin A sleeps best in the swing, then go ahead and do that for the first 3 months.  The "fourth trimester" is overwhelming with one, let alone two.  Do what you have to to get through it, then worry about establishing good habits.
[/quote]

Clearly a twin mom.  I am also and I totally agree w/ every word of this, and the sections I bolded should be posted on a wall somewhere.  Every word.  Especially the scheduling and keeping them both on the same schedule (barring any medical issues).

Mine are now almost 3 (boy/girl) and this is how we have approached things from day one.  They're both healthy kids, and they get the same treatment, same diet, same sleep schedule (in the same room except for naps now), same rules, etc...   The schedule saved our sanity.

They go to all dr appts together.  When they were really tiny I took them by myself occasionally but it does help to have another adult with you.  It's good to have someone who can be undressing/dressing/comforting/entertaining one child while the other is getting examined or shots or whatever.  I also ask the staff at our pediatricians to do the shots at the same time whenever possible.  As they get older and develop an awareness it's just easier to get it all over with faster.

People love to feed babies- use that.  Don't get hung up on 100 different minute perfect things you think you should be doing.  Keep them clean, fed, safe, and loved for the first few months and you're doing your job (whether parent or caregiver).  Be calm.  Let them cry when necessary.  No child ever died from crying and there will be lots of times when you're tending to one and the other is unhappy.  They will live, life will go on, and you're still doing a great job.

Don't set yourself up for failure by demanding perfection.  With twins you can't spend hours catering to their every individual quirk or fascinating trait.  That's one of the hard things, but it also is simply impossible to do so just let yourself off the hook now.

Breastfeeding is great but incredibly hard.  With twins it can be a monumental challenge - you just need one fussy baby, one poor latcher, one w/ reflux issues, one in a bad mood, etc... and the whole thing becomes incredibly stressful.  Pumping is ok.  Formula is ok.  An ongoing mix of whatever works is ok.  Pumping and formula let other people help - which is SOOO important.  As PP said, if it works do it.

If the babies are healthy and growing you're doing a great job.  Don't seek out tons of advice from parents of one child (or even one child at a time).  Do talk to other people with twins (or triplets if you really want to get a perspective reset on your reality!)

If you're a nanny, make sure you're on the same page w/ the parents re expectations about schedule, sleep, etc... Do they want the children held/rocked to sleep?  Do they cosleep?  Do they believe in treating the twins the same way?  ETc...   (In my opinion, there are answers to those questions that would make me not take the job, but that's a personal decision.)

Use the law of averages to your benefit.  Most kids are healthy, most babies have some level of reflux in early weeks but do not have allergies or intolerances - they just need to let their digestive systems mature, most babies can tolerate a pretty mixed diet once they start eating solids.  Most infants/babies/toddlers/kids will fall within the pretty standard norms for appropriate sleep and nap times.  Etc...  Shoot for average.  Trust the data and use that to guide what these infants can/should be doing re eating and sleeping.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Pick a couple of things you can/will do to document their infancy.  I never got the darn baby books done, I missed out on newborn hand/footprints, etc... and I regret that.  But I do have some great pics from when they were tiny, I do have some video snippets, and someday, 20 years, from now, when I have time I can organize them.  You won't be able to do everything you'd do w/ one baby so pick something you can focus on to document them as they grow.

Allow other people to play/hold/feed/put down/care for etc...  You can start teaching flexibility from the beginning if the babies are used to other people caring for them.  If you allow that from the beginning you'll have more flexible kids, more ability to get out of the house occasionally, and more comfort in knowing your kids have a loving support system.

Those are my first thoughts...  Ask away if you have other specific questions.

Oh - and we used pacifiers (which were life savers) which we yanked cold turkey at one year with little problem.  Never had any significant thumbsucking.  Swing chairs were an absolute necessity in the early months.  Bumbos are great for expanding their horizons at around 3 months.  We used chairs or boppies to prop for feeding so we could do simultaneous bottle feeding.  Etc...

Good luck![/quote]

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