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[quote=Anonymous]11:19 here:  for me, I picked exactly what I was looking for -- but didn't realize what I needed.

I placed an emphasis on finding a very gentle, quiet girl who would not scare my sensitive oldest child.  I also wanted a girl who didn't really want to party.  I sacrificed a lot on the English capability, and experience, and I didn't dig into the driving skills like I should have.

I got a very nice Thai girl who was indeed gentle, and had no interest in partying.  But she was extremely shy, and I didn't know enough about how to overcome those differences, and how to help her find a community of peers.  I offered help, but after getting gently rebuffed, I kind of let her do it herself.  She was not successful in finding a community of friends, and she got lonely (and ultimately left).

I think the lack of experience was also difficult (and there were some culture issues here too).  She was very reserved, and would never tell me when things weren't going well.  I heard concerning stories from my kids about things that were happening, but I think she didn't have the maturity and self-confidence to tell me things were not going well.

In future pairings, I've looked for APs that were a little more assertive -- as I think that works better for my needs.[/quote]

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