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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Potty training is hard! Has your nanny done it before? It sounds like you need to sit down and have a real talk about both of your opinions - yes, you are the parent, but you won't be able to get her on board if you don't hear her out and understand where she's coming from. Does she think your son is too young, is she new to potty training and grossed out by the poop, does she think pull ups make sense for naptime or long outings but is willing to go with underwear at home? Figure out where she's at and we can help you from there.

[b]HOWEVER, as a nanny the line about your nanny "not seeming pleased" with a potty training accident is a tiny red flag to me. You don't want any of DC's caregivers ever making him feel shamed or frustrated during this process and if you could see her unhappiness, he probably could too.[/b] This is something very important to message to her and to keep an eye on yourself, for your son's sake.[/quote]

OP here and that's my concern.  He also goes to preschool and his teachers there have been wonderful and really understanding with the whole process so I know he's fine there but I'm worried about the nanny's reaction.  She's generally very good with him and is very careful and aware of what she says to him but I wasn't there when this happened so I'm not sure how she reacted.  If he was upset or embarrassed he may have said something to me, which he hasn't, but I'm not sure.  I know I need to sit down and have a bigger discussion with the nanny about the potty training.  We haven't talked about her past experience with it but her last family she worked for had 2 children who were 2 and newborn when she started with them and she stayed for 8 years so presumably she went through potty training with at least 1 if not both of them.

My DC is definitely not too young, he's already 3 1/2 and we've been working on this for a long time.  We have talked about it at length with our pediatrician and I'm sure we are on the right path.  I just have to make sure the nanny helps to continue it.  Oh and I should add he does wear a pull-up when he sleeps although he's actually almost always dry when he wakes up and he even will wake up during the night to go to the bathroom now.  It's just the pooping that we are working on.[/quote]

PP you quoted. No way at 3.5 she could think he's too young and I'm glad to hear things are going well at preschool. Definitely sit down and talk to her about how she helped potty train her previous charges, then explain to her what you, his pediatrician, and his preschool teachers are doing. Use her reaction to determine whether or not she'll be able to stay with you during this phase; while she clearly has the experience on paper, who knows how it was handled at her last job and whether or not she's up for the challenge now. If you get any sense that she is unhappy or resisting after you've heard her out and explained clearly what you and the doctor agree should be done, do consider a nanny cam. I'm usually in favor of these either from the beginning or not at all, but I've seen children who were shamed during this process continue to have accidents (and in one case rely on pull-ups) through kindergarten and we don't want that for your son. :(

Hopefully once she fully grasps the plan and how it's being implemented around the clock she'll be enthusiastically on board![/quote]

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