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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous](I am OP) I like the idea of my child being polite but I don't want a very authoritarian nanny. He spends every day with her. Surely he will internalize her strict demeanor and think he isn't good enough. She also refuses to answer if he calls her by her first name. She insists that she and any adult be called "Ms/Mr First Name." I have siblings, his aunts and uncles, who he calls by their first name. It seems really over the top for us.[/quote]

One of the PPs.  It sounds like you and your nanny aren't really on the same page in terms of child rearing.  I don't see anything wrong with what she is doing - I require all the same things from my DC (MB here).  However, if it's not working for you, better for both of you to be honest up front and part ways if necessary.  While I don't necessarily choose the relaxed approach you are describing for your child, at the end of the day, you are the parent and it's up to you.  Better to have a conversation with your nanny now and make clear what is and is not important to you, than to have it drive you crazy for months and confuse your DC with two sets of rules.  (I will say, it would drive me crazy if our nanny didn't respect the names that my relatives have chosen for DC to address them by - that is not her call to make.  Everything else she requires, I do too.)[/quote]

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