Reply to How to help MB who just doesn't get it?

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[quote=Anonymous]I am trying to figure out whether this is something I can try to bring up or if that it out of line and if so how to bring it up.

She is middle-class, sounds like she had a pretty strict/conservative dad and mom was more permissive from what she has said.  I don't think she is focusing on obedience versus teaching--it is more like it has never occurred to her to view it from the lens of teaching.  She seems to think that the teaching part is just telling DC what she wants Him/her to do, rather than understanding that you have to show more than tell and that it takes tons of repetition for kids to follow rules.  I think she would do well with a more teaching-based approach, but it would be a huge shift for her to see it that way and I think she is so convinced that the kid DOES understand the expectations, but is just being "bad"--versus not being developmentally capable of grasping a lot of her directions and expectations or of being able to practice self-restraint.  I think a big part of her image of herself as a mom comes from the idea that she knows her kid, so when I imply that DC doesn't get something that she thinks s/he does, then it is attacking her role as the mom.[/quote]

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