Reply to Advice Needed from Host Families Adjusting to Lack of Privacy for the first time

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] You should think through how to handle things like food, paper supplies, cleaning supplies, etc.  I would advise against getting an au pair in your situation, but if your niece can handle you being "mean" to her in exchange for hundreds of dollars worth of free rent each month, then I think it could work.  But you need to be clear up front that you really want her out of the way most of the time so you can focus on the kids.[/quote]

OP here.  I appreciate most of your advice but this last part is confusing.  As I mentioned before, it's not about additional expenses.  We would be fine w/ my cousin eating any of our food, using any household supplies and not sure what you mean about cleaning supplies as we have a cleaning service.  Since she's an adult, we would of course expect her to keep the bathroom that she uses tidy, most likely she'd have one to herself as our DD bathes in our big master bath tub.

And what do you mean about whether my "niece" can handle my being mean to her in exchange for hundreds of dollars worth of free rent each month?  My husband lived in our neighborhood in a group house over 8 yrs ago and paid $700 before utilities and food.  I recently looked on Craigslist and most studios around Arlington started at $1400 and up. None of this would be charged to her.

My question really is about whether I can handle having another adult living w/ us for at least a year who happens to be my relative--so I couldn't just ask them to leave if it wasn't working out.[/quote]

OP, the PP was trying to be helpful.  There is no need for snippiness.  These are the kinds of issues that do come up when relatives stay, and she was just prompting you to think them through.  We have hosted APs for 7 years, but we don't have your privacy issues and don't mind sharing our space.  Still, I have found it best to be really clear about expectations, as in: "we love having you join us for dinner, but after dinner, DH and I like to watch TV/read/talk on our own."  All PP was suggesting is that you need to be able to say things like this and your neice needs to be able to hear them without getting insulted.  That is it (as far as I read it anyway).
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