Reply to Therapy session here for bad AP experiences?

Forum Index » Au Pair Discussion

Reply to "Therapy session here for bad AP experiences?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Okay I know I will be flamed, and you'll probably have my post deleted, but truly and honestly, why do you all expect so much from very young women making very little money? They're sold an experience of getting to travel and experience American culture, then brought here to work lots of hours for little pay, given very little time off to actually have fun, not paid enough to even really go anywhere or do anything, and housed with wealthy families who wanted cheap labor. For real, what did you expect? [/quote]

I really appreciate how kindly you put this, honestly, and I hope that we can put this to rest once and for all.  I think you make a number of assumptions here that are false.  Although I am positive that there are many host families who overwork their au pairs or who select 18-year-olds with very little experience and then expect them to act like professional nannies, this is not nearly universally true.

Firstly, au pairs are 18-26 and represent a wide range of experience and maturity levels.  I completely agree with you, and have said before, that if you select an 18yo who has only occasionally babysat and expect her to be a professional full-time nanny, then you will be sorely disappointed. On the flip side, there are many many au pairs who arrive in the US with extensive experience, including certifications and degrees, and who are well prepared to take on a full-time child care job.  If you want success in the program, you select these young women versus the ones you assume au pairs all are.

Secondly, I wholeheartedly disagree with you that they make very little.  You are looking at straight money handed to the au pair and you fail to look at the whole compensation that au pairs get.  You also, I think, fail to see that this is a voluntary program, for which the compensation is very clearly laid out prior to selecting into the program, and still, thousands and thousands of au pairs come every year.  There are so many more au pairs than there are host families willing to take on the time and expense, the clearly they are being compensated adequately enough to keep coming.

When you take a job, you not only consider your pay, but you also consider the other aspects of your "compensation package."  With a professional job, this may include commute, benefits, healthcare coverage, flexible schedule, availability of telework, travel opportunities, opportunities for growth, how it looks on your resume, etc.  With an au pair job, included in our compensation is not only $800 to $1,000 in cash each month, but also, free rent, utilities, food, health coverage, $500 toward your education, a flight to and from the US, and most frequently, car insurance coverage, a car to use, and a cell phone for an entire year.  Also included are intangibles such as experience to add to your resume when you return home, a huge opportunity for personal growth, the opportunity to be immersed in a new language and return with highly marketable English skills, the support of a host family and a community counselor while living in a foreign country, simply the opportunity to live in the US for a year, which would be impossible for most of these young adults without this program.  There is so much more to how au pairs are compensated than what you include - which is the cash a host family hands them.  You forget all of the other things host families provide to their au pairs, included things that cost the host family a lot of money and also, those that cost the host family a lot of time.

They are not "brought here" - they choose to do the program and while I agree that the agencies don't fully explain that the program is a WORK program, it is very very clear on the websites that au pairs provide full-time child care.  Go take a look at the websites if you don't agree with me.  I've applied as a host family with four different agencies, and every single one requires that you fill out exactly the schedule you will ask your au pair to work.  That is clear to au pairs upon matching.  I completely understand that many host families change the schedules once they get here, but to say that au pairs come to the US expecting to have a year of traveling and fun and are somehow surprised that they're expected to work is frankly fairly insulting to the young women that choose to come.  Are there au pairs that don't get the full reality of the program?  Absolutely.  But there's so so much information about being an au pair (not just through the websites, but through tons of blogs and forums and other resources), that if they come expecting not to have to work, then they're not very astute.

There is also a considerable rematch rate - au pairs go into rematch every day and can always request to be removed from the program or to find a new host family at any time.  They are not stuck anywhere ever.

Your assumption that they are given very little time off to actually have fun and that they don't make enough to travel or actually have fun anyway is another falsehood.  Again, I'm sure there are host families that ask their au pairs to work tons of hours every day of the week, but note that that is illegal and against the rules of the program.  For those of us that follow the rules, our au pairs actually have lots of time off and have lots of extra cash.  Our extraordinaire never works weekends and has three-day weekends at least once or twice a month.  We pay for all of her living expenses, just like all host families do, so she has $1,000 in cash every month to spend purely on fun and travel.  That's more than I have to spend on fun every month, to be sure.

And finally, your assumption that they are "housed with wealthy families who want cheap labor" is another falsehood.  Yes, I am sure there are wealthy families who don't want to pay for a nanny and so use the au pair program because it is, yes, cheaper than a full-time live-out nanny.  But again, comparing an au pair (who lives in your house and eats your food and drives your car and who requires a lot of assistance and training throughout the year) to a live-out nanny, who is paying all her own living expenses and leaves you alone outside of her work schedule) is apples to oranges.  Hosting an au pair costs not only a room in our house and having to share our car and food, but also a total of about $25,000 a year.  It is by no means cheap.  Having my kids in before/after care or hiring a college student to do the 25 hours a week of care I use my au pair for would be cheaper.

I appreciate your kindness, but I ask you to please check your assumptions before you make judgments about host families and this program.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics