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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]But this isn't just a question of male-female.  I know there are many families who struggle to match with an AP who can meet multiple children's needs, and this doesn't always go as planned: for example, the AP who is great with babies but not with toddlers, and the parents have to choose which one needs the AP more.  Or the AP who is very sporty but less able to meet the needs of the quiet artist.  I'm wondering how people have wrestled with this calculus and would love to hear what others have done.[/quote]

I answered your specific question in my post above, but I think what you posted here is a really interesting discussion too.  We have two kids whose needs are also very different, one of whom is very very easy to like and get alone with and the other, who is young anyway, is just not as friendly right away and is more difficult discipline-wise.  We've had three au pairs (in four years) and I still haven't found one that worked well with both of them.  The first and third got along great with my oldest and never really bonded with my son.  The second was great with my son (she was more of a baby person than an older kid person) and my daughter liked her, but really loved our first.  For our next au pair, I will definitely look for one specifically for my son, since my daughter just gets along with anyone.

But really, it would be really difficult to find that one person that bonds well with everyone in the family - host dad, host mom, host kids.  We're all very different people as I'm sure most families are, and certain personalities just fit better with others.  I think I may also err on the side of finding someone that would fit my son, but make sure she knows that part of her job is to "win" both the kids over, even if she doesn't necessarily fit well with one or the other.  [/quote]

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