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[quote=Anonymous]I know there are a lot of haters on this forum but I'd like to put out there that I'm really needing some positive, supportive advice and would appreciate not being flamed. I'm not sure what to do.

I really want to work with kids. It comes naturally to me, I connect and communicate with them easily and very young ones are always drawn to me in the supermarket or at the park or wherever I am. I just feel like it's my calling but my background doesn't support it. I don't mean to go into too much detail, but I don't know how to get the advice I need without laying it out.

I was raised in a very unusual way. My mom belonged to a cult and I grew up totally isolated and sheltered from the world. I was emotionally abused and mentally neglected. I did go to school, but because I was so different, I was bullied mercilessly. I dropped out before high school and my mom lied for me, saying she was home-schooling me. I had no idea what effect the choices I made would have on my future, no one talked to me about college or working and my mom, who was the only adult role-model in my life, lived off of the government and stayed home. She raised me to be appealing and had no question in her mind that I would grow up to land a rich husband and be taken care of, the end.

In my teens I realized eventually that my mom was mentally ill and that my life wasn't heading in the direction I wanted. I studied my butt off and earned my GED. I wanted to go to college, which wasn't my mom's plan for me, so she ended up kicking me out. I went to live with my boyfriend (who had bee the one to encourage me to get my GED) but he became verbally abusive only a few months after I was living with him. I ended up relationship hopping for a couple of years, in total survival mode, just staying with whoever would care for me until it stopped working out. At one point I became homeless for a while, not sure I would have been able to get off the street if I hadn't met my last boyfriend. I've always been totally anti-drug, no drinking, didn't have any of the usual reasons for being homeless, I just had very poor life skills.

My most recent boyfriend was really cool. He convinced me to get into therapy and even paid for it. I applied for financial aid at the local college and got in, so I started taking child development classes. I'm in my mid-20s and am only now really starting to figure out how the world works, how to be social with my peers, and the more I think about it the more I'm sure I want to be able to support myself and not be dependent on others to take care of me. I broke up with my boyfriend, which was so hard to do. He's a great guy but I've never been single since I left my mom. So now we're close friends. I got a tiny studio for myself and am living off of student loans, but I'm really scared about building up too much debt and I want to start working. The clearest choice to me is to become a nanny. I love the idea of spending my time with a little kid or two rather than a huge group, just playing and learning, and I know I would be really good at following a parent's rules with things like discipline and parenting styles. I just don't have any experience.. and it's donning on me that being in your mid-20s without ANY previous work history is very hard to explain. I think my past would make me seem weird or sketchy, but I'm really not, just a bit shy maybe. I'm proud of myself for getting this far, when I think of where my life could be if I stayed with my mom.. but I can't really expect anyone else to appreciate my situation, can I?

Where would you start?[/quote]

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