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[quote=Anonymous]Our nanny has been working with us since the start of the summer and she seems unhappy and I am unsure how to best address it.  Due to her hours and my schedule we don't spend a lot of time overlapping but when I do I ask her regularly how she is doing and if everything is going OK. She always says everything is good and she will smile and tell me a funny story about the kids and seem happy in that moment.

But in general her overall body language and attitude around me and my husband would indicate she is not actually that happy with us. When she arrives each day she almost never smiles, does not say hello and will not actually look at me when she comes in and I am leaving.  It is becoming quite overt that she does not want to look at me when she starts works and seems to prefer to not talk to me in the mornings.  She often leaves before I get home but on the days we overlap in the evening she does not share any information about the day she just seems to want to leave as quickly as possible or if I am around much earlier than her leaving time she tidies in a part of the house that is away from me.  My husbands schedule is more flexible so he is around more.  We both feel that she is lovely with the kids but he feels she can be very moody and opinionated (in the short time she has worked with us we have had at least a few conversations where she did not repond to me and just rolls her eyes and stared).

On at least a  few occassions when she has seen me and I have asked about her day she has not said much and then left and later sent long text messages about how badly behaved the kids were that day but she has not wanted to talk to me in person.  I am not at all deluded that my children are angels and I know when and how they can be difficult and what sets them off.  So I am not afraid to hear this info and welcome chatting about it so we can agree a strategy.

Other days she seems very happy and natural and chatty with me. We really are confused about whether she just may not like us (the parents), or if the kids are not the little people she hoped to be around (she does seem to have a good relationship with them and they seem happy too). Other moms see her and say she is great with them and always smiling and happy and chatting with other moms and nannies and gets along well when she is out and about.

We think she is a lovely with the kids and if the kids are happy and well cared for I do not think this needs to be about someone personally liking me but I do care if my nanny is genuinely unhappy with us and ideally want to know why and see if we can work it out, but from our experience so far it does not seem like she really wants to talk directly to us about whatever could be bothering her. And if in fact she just does not like us as people for some reason, when does that start to impact her care of our children?

Anyone have an experience like this and have any suggestions?[/quote]

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