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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here,  we are going to give her Thanksgiving off because it does not make sense not to since we both are not working.  But I just would love not to because I guess I am just still irritated from a situation a few months ago when we had to change the schedule at the last minute because something came up and she chastised me about it, this is after I had given her multiple weekends off during the summer and worked with her summer travel plans when I did not have to. So much for banking good will. At any rate, I am happy to know that having her work the full 45 hours is okay--we actually need more than 45 hours so her working the full 45 is by no means arbitrary.  Thanks for your advice![/quote]

Ah, as always - questions that have a seemingly obvious answer usually have something else behind them.  OP, I'm a host parent too and whenever I find myself being nit-picky about stuff and wanting to sort of "punish" the au pair (for lack of a better word), it's usually because I'm irritated at something related to their performance or related to feeling like I am giving way more than I am getting.

OP, yes, you can most certainly use all 45 hours.  But don't get into a tit for tat with her.  It will spiral down until you are either rematching or just counting down the hours until your year is over.  One of the big negatives of au pairs is that they are typically young and immature.  You treating her coldly and ungenerously will not result in her realizing she shouldn't have chastised you.  She'll just think you're being a bitch.

If you don't need her, don't schedule her.  Be the bigger person.  And no, do not schedule her on Thanksgiving unless you seriously need her to be around while you're cooking or something.  You'll just look cheap and ungenerous.  [/quote]

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