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[quote=Anonymous]MB here - I think you need a new nanny, and I think you know that but really are dreading the process - which I totally understand.  But this situation is clearly deteriorating and I bet that if you found someone new, who is a better fit for your current needs, you would feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

I think you can reasonably ask, as part of the routine job duties, that the nanny maintain the children's areas (bedrooms, play areas) and space where they eat and do their laundry.  Beyond that you could negotiate additional duties as you need them and the nanny is willing to accommodate (light cleaning, prep of family dinner once a week, grocery shopping, running the dishwasher, etc...)

I tend to consider cleaning beyond that to be inappropriate to ask of our nanny - so no deep cleaning, no cleaning of the bathrooms (except as necessitated by potty training), no cleaning the stove/fridge, no laundry other than the kids', etc...   Sometimes she'll do a bit of that to be generous, but it isn't required.

We have ended up w/ an occasionally uncomfortably personal level of support and involvement in our nanny's life also - very much at her request.  I wish we could maintain cleaner borders, but I also know that we can be very helpful to her in ways she needs, and our care/concern for her is returned by her care of our family.  So I understand how that can happen.

But honestly, I really think you need to bite the bullet and replace your nanny.  Six months from now you will likely be hugely relieved and wish you'd done it sooner.

Good luck![/quote]

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