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[quote=Anonymous]Great advice from the PP! 
I have been in a very similar situation. Don't ignore the behavior and think fine, because it will likely still frustrate you to the point of quitting. It is difficult when the parents aren't pulling their weight, but you can have rules and set expectations and boundaries that he will follow on your time. Depending on your after school routine and what he likes to do, make it clear that homework and chores have to be done before the fun stuff (playing, gaming, TV, seeing friends).

Also take even 10 minutes each day that he gets to have one on one time with you and let him pick what he wants to do at the house (play a board game, color, play sports). For example, "X I have 10 mins before I have to do this and I would love to spend this time with you doing whatever you choose." If the other child is old enough to entertain themselves for that time that is best, and basically ignore the younger child during your special time with the older kid. Act like a kid with him during this time and don't correct any bad behavior for those ten minutes, set a timer. When you are done tell them how much fun you had with them and you can't wait to do it again the next day you see him In my experience, they will start asking when their special time will be and you can use it to motivate them to get their things done.

As the PP said, point out positive behavior and try to ignore the bad. Pretty soon he will do things to get the positive reaction out of you. With the closing of the door and any other behavior you can pick and choose your battles on until he comes around a little from doing the advice suggested PP and the one on one time
1. Try ignoring his behavior and close it without giving it any attention so he doesn't feel like he wins. Don't even ask him if you know he won't do it. 
2. Or make sure that if you tell him to do something you don't back down and calmly remind him that when he closes the door then he can do what he wants. I am sure he thinks well Nanny is like my parents and if they ask me to do something five times they will just give up and I win. If he goes out the door to the neighbors and doesn't close it when asked wait a minute walk over and interrupt his fun and tell him he needs to come back then make him close it and then he can go play again. PITA I know!

I would skip the rewards, it is just a battle waiting to happen. What if he only does half his stuff does he only get half a reward or just give up on the rest if he misses one thing because he knows he won't get rewarded. Another resource to check out is Amy McCready with Positive Parenting Solutions, she has a lot of free advice and articles that have been so helpful for me. Watch the free webinar, I think it has info on consequences too.
Sorry I am sure that is full of bad punctuation and grammar, but it is late. Good luck![/quote]

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