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[quote=Anonymous]Longtime HM here, who completely gets why a HF might not bring an AP on vacation (sometimes we do and sometimes we don't - depends on the vacation and on the AP).  In this case, probably there is an issue of cost - it would cost a lot to fly an AP from Philly to Mexico and house her for the week, not to mention pay all of her meals while there.  But as importantly, a new AP, especially a homesick one who hasn't bonded with the host child (as OP writes is her case), is likely going to take a lot of work, and that is likely the last thing this HF needs when they are at a family wedding in Mexico.  Remember, they have known you a MONTH - that is just four weeks.  It's wonderful that your HF is nice and warm and makes you feel comfortable, so please don't turn their not taking someone who four weeks ago was unknown to them on an expensive vacation for a week into being treated like an "old pair of socks."  The drama is so uncalled for here, because it is completely within your HF's right not to bring you.

OTOH, while they can ask you to open/close the door after the repair people, it's not fair of them to ask you to do anything more than that - you don't know the standard of work they would require and you can't attest to anything other than the repair people being there or not, so you should talk to your HM about what she means by "checking during the day."  Is it just that workers are there?  That is fine.  But you can't comment on the work itself, and you should make sure she understands this.

If they are paying you for the week, they absolutely CAN ask you to do 45 hours worth of child-related tasks during the week and can even specify which days you need to work for 10 hours and which one for 5 (there was a LONG discussion on aupairmom about this last year - this isn't uncommon apparently), so you should not do as a PP suggested and take off for NYC without some discussion with your HF about how you will fulfill the tasks they are asking of you.  We personally do not ask our APs to do any tasks when we are away and don't bring them, but the thing is that a HF *can* ask this, and for you to just blow it off would be a problem.

If you're having trouble with the HC, you should talk to your LCC and to your HM (possibly together) and figure out a good strategy for that, but whining about not getting taken on vacation isn't going to get you very far with the LCC.  You're lucky they are not requiring that you take this as a vacation week, after all!

So please focus on the good things - you're happy with this family, they are nice and welcoming and make you feel comfortable - and figure out a way to make the most of your week without them.[/quote]

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