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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

#1 lives closer
Is younger
Mild communication issues
Very kind and gentle
Laughs a lot
Although less experienced, has experience in a similar position
Reference says hard worker, diligent, follows direction well, responsible
Only reference reached so far was not for similar position
Reference was unable to answer question of how #1 would do if sibling conflict arose

#2 lives farther
Older
Easy to communicate with
Very experienced
Confident
References (2) say she takes initiative (although not inappropriately), has great judgment and can be firm with kids (appropriately) when needed
Nice demeanor
Energetic and smart (references confirm this impression)
Follows parent preferences (according to references)
Was able to say what kind of position/dynamic doesn't work for her

I like #2 because of the easy communication and the confidence, although I think #1 is a lovely person

While DC#2 would never articulate it this way, I think #1 is DC's choice because DC#2 doesn't like to be challenged or directed but rather persuaded of things.  This requires a great deal of patience that I, myself, cannot muster, although we had a long-term nanny who could.  I think DC#2 is looking to replace that nanny.  We also had a babysitter that DC#2 loved, and #1 reminds DC of that babysitter.

I am struggling because I think #2 might be the nanny DC#2 needs because I think it is time DC learns to accept that there are limits on, for example, how much you can annoy your siblings without a consequence, but I worry that #2 may also have conflicts with DC#2 in the beginning and that may create more drama and stress than necessary.  DH shares this worry.  So I guess we will see what the rest of the references have to say.
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