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Reply to "Had argument with MB and could use perspective. Lengthy."
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[quote=Anonymous]I made a post a couple weeks ago iirc, about which position would be the best for me, and I decided with the family with 2 kids/no housekeeping/20 an hour. We went over a few things on Monday and I started Tuesday. My timings are 3:30 to 6:30. I go to 5 year old's bus stop, pick up, then go and pick up 20 month old and come home. We play, then give a bath and have kids start on dinner. Well, this week MB has been home because she is pregnant and has been having some issues, so doctor told her to take it easy. She told me about the pregnancy Tuesday. While it has been awkward with her home, since the kids keep going to her and I'm trying to just in general not do the wrong thing, she hasn't been micromanaging or bossy. It's 6:30 and I ask MB if she would like to give me a check today and start direct deposit next week since I just gave her the form yesterday and she tells me she needs to check how much she needs to deduct from the paycheck and gets online. During this time I just sit waiting while the kids are playing, but have a care date at 7 so tell her not to worry about it after 5 minutes and she can just pay me later. She looks frustrated and says straight up she's sorry but hasn't been happy with my performance this week. I am flabbergasted because I feel like this just came out of left field. I ask her to clarify specifically what she's not happy with: - 5 year old has lessons one day a week for an hour. Parents had to be in lobby to wait. I sent a text asking if it was okay if I stayed in the car. She responds that it's my choice. I ended up staying in the building because I asked and was given WiFi password, so just went on my ipad in the duration. MB told me today that I could have asked her if I should go grocery shopping during this time or run an errand and didn't take initiative. One - we didn't agree on that. 2 - I'm not a mind reader. 3 - I DON'T want to run errands even if I were asked to. - Yesterday my phone kept making the new text sound because I was talking to MB and didn't want to check the text right then. After the third time she asks if I can turn my phone off. I apologize and put it on vibrate. I did the same thing today so she never heard the phone but she tells me that that bothered her. I admit, It was my fault as I should have never had the ringer on, but if the issue was resolved, why the need to bring it up again? - I asked yesterday if I could leave 10 minutes earlier but if it was a problem, I understood. She told me it was fine. I ended up leaving at 6:25, but no biggie. She told me today she didn't like that I asked if I could leave earlier. - She told me that she didn't like that I left right around 6:30 because I should see that she needs help with the kids, and her last nanny stayed if needed for a few extra minutes. I do admit, I was doing that but - 1. I have care dates scheduled in the evening and as I had mentioned in my first thread, this family is in a heavy traffic area, so me staying past the time agreed upon wouldn't work. 2- maybe because my last family always let me go before the official end time, I assumed leaving at the time we agreed upon would be fine. 3- again, not a mind reader. Those were the main complaints but she also said ( and this pissed me off because this was the second time) along the lines of 'I'm paying you $20 an hour. 20 dollars an hour. A very high rate, especially for not going through an agency and you're not being proactive.' I told her that she was piling on all at once when she could have told me along the way her issues. I also said that she was speaking to me in such a way that I never would have spoken to her. She said that we need to see if this will work out and I said maybe I'm just not the best fit. It was about 6:50 then and I told her I have an event and need to leave. She said that's fine. At this point, I 100% am planning on leaving because I feel like she spoke to me in a way that I can't erase away now, it's too awkward, I didn't appreciate her bringing up the pay rate AGAIN (initially they told me they would reimburse separately for gas, but on Monday she said they talked about it and since they were paying a high rate and I was driving locally, they felt they shouldn't pay separately. I was disappointed but said it was fine), and I know that her having a difficult pregnancy is not easy, but I really don't want to do extra things like run errands and tasks around the house to take up the slack because, frankly, I just don't want to. I know $20 an hour is a high rate and obviously she thinks so as well, but since I initially was contemplating the position vs a lower paying one, the money is not a big deal to me. Also, with the end time of 6:30, I have had to decline 2 care dates this week that started earlier and as I sit on evenings and weekends regularly for other families and my income from the off hours care dates makes up a higher percentage than with this family, the end time has been a detriment. What I'm trying to say - salary with family is $300 a week, but I make more than that sitting for several families when needed during the week but because frequently start time is before 7pm, me not being able to sit is bothering me, but I was going to stick it out since I gave my commitment to this family until the end of the school year. Now, I don't know exactly what to do? We agreed upon 2 weeks notice if either party felt it wasn't going to be a good fit. So should I give notice tomorrow? And does two weeks start from tomorrow or Monday? Also, how can I tell families I am plan on meeting with about this family? Should I just not say anything and use my prior employers as the main reference? I have never had to deal with this do don't know the appropriate way to handle the situation amicably. [/quote]
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