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[quote=Anonymous]Ok, so I am in a live-in work exchange. Every live-in position I have ever had included the very basics of hygiene stuff like laundry detergent, toilet paper, and hand soap. Stuff that is bought for the house and then I would just use their brand as well. I started this position as live out about 1.75 years ago, and moved in 1.25 years ago. We had discussed including the usual and I am pretty sure laundry detergent was part of that as well. Well, I have also had my own (name brand) powdered detergent that I use for certain things that don't like to have you use liquid stuff on them sitting in the laundry room during this whole time.

Over the past year+ there have been times that she has used my laundry detergent when the liquid stuff ran out and before she got around to buying more. No big deal, it was more of a backup thing anyways (but she does have her own powdered stuff that is sitting down there as well). Anyways, she is always leaving her clothes in the washer and dryer and I am constantly helping her out with her laundry so I can get my own in. I was doing this tonight, wondering where there were some hangers that are normally down there to hang some of her stuff up, asking if a basket on top of the dryer was clean so I could add more to it etc, and then was carrying down her newly bought liquid detergent (bought days ago, but just sitting upstairs). She used my stuff again today, which was noticeable since the box was moved. None of that would have mattered to me, but as I was asking about stuff, she asked me if I was doing laundry and in a very odd voice said "and you are using my detergent?". I said I had used mine, and mentioned that she had actually used it as well, then she apologized for using it for 3 loads today, saying she thought she had bought it before.

Nothing mentioned about using it other times (about 1/4th of the box has been used by her, so it wasn't just today), and she sounded really freaked out that I might be using her stuff. Again, this was talked about when I moved in. I also don't do nearly as much laundry as her (since she has kids), and don't use the normal amount they tell you to but a very small amount as my clothes are never that dirty. I feel very offended right now, that this seems to be a huge issue to her when she has used my own stuff many times (and her guests always use up all my dryer sheets etc which she doesn't buy). Actually, her guests also eat my food and it never gets replaced, but I will also sometimes have a small cup of her ice cream etc so I feel that it gets evened out (but mostly buy and eat my own stuff). This has been the first position that most basic foods weren't included, originally she was to buy certain things like bagels on a regular basis but that just stopped. So I buy everything myself now. I feel that she is picking at small things that shouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things, and for stuff that normally is included anyways.

I guess I will be buying my own laundry detergent from now on, though I only go shopping on my own, taking the bus with just a backpack so it will be a small trip only to buy stuff like that. She only takes me shopping with the car when I need to bulk buy cat food and litter once every 3 months (maybe I can grab detergent then too). Am I being unreasonable thinking that laundry detergent should be included especially when it is hard for me to carry larger/heavy items back on multiple buses? She had someone live with her previously that I think was a bad experience for her, but I don't think she was very familiar with a nanny being a live-in for a work exchange, while I have many years experience with this.

Should I bother bringing this up to her in a discussion, or should I just count myself lucky that I have a great deal on rent/utilities in a very expensive city to live in, that will allow my 2 cats to live with me? I think it is kind of petty to bring it up, but I also think it is petty to make me feel like a horrible person for even thinking of using her generic liquid laundry detergent.[/quote]

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