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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've had 2 German APs on the younger side (18 & 20).  An observation (not sure how scientific this is!):

Not that I'd look for a "broken home" specifically, but I will say that the AP whose parents were divorced (and therefore, money & parental time tighter), despite having never lived away from home, had played a more active role in household chores and it came more automatically to her to help out.  She also I think quite frankly she appreciated the AP stipend more in that it gave her independence to spend her own money in a way she hadn't been able to before.  I think this made her value the entire AP experience more.

When interviewing in the future - particularly with a younger AP - I would ask very specifically about what household chores they do around the house.  Do they do their own laundry?  Do they do any shopping? cleaning?  Even if you are not going to be requiring them to do much of this in your home, I think an appreciation for all that the host parents are doing (what it takes to organize food shopping, meals, cooking, etc.) is helpful and conducive to a "helping out" relationship versus a needing-to-be-specifically-assigned-each-and-every-task relationship.[/quote]

Obviously the plural of anecdote is not data, but for what it's worth, we have an only child au pair raised by a single mom and she has all the traits you'd stereotypically think an only child with no father in her life would have (awful to say, but she fits the stereotypes 100%).  She's boy crazy, doesn't value family, has trouble sharing or recognizing when other people have needs that need to take precedent, doesn't lift a finger around the house (her mom did everything), etc.

But I completely agree about asking whether candidates had an active role in household chores.  Our current au pair obviously didn't have to do anything at home.  We don't even have any chores that we require our au pair to do (she doesn't even do the kids' laundry, for example), but it's obvious that she has no idea how much time and money it takes to run a household.  In the beginning, she would leave her dinner plates on the sink and run upstairs after I had cooked everyone dinner.  Acted a bit miffed that I wanted her to put her dishes in the dishwasher and at least ask if she could do anything before running away.  Of course, like all of them, she stated that she is a very clean and organized person and that she did chores at home.  Don't take that for granted - ask what they do at home and how work is shared in the family.[/quote]

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