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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  If I can tap you for more advice, awesome-three-point-plan host mom: part of AP's problem is homesickness and part is expectations and lack of confidence (I think).  I believe her expectations of my two kids (4 and 8 y.o) are unrealistic.  She gets flustered when they fight with each other and don't listen to her right away.  I've told her that she can't just go quiet with the kids when she's not feeling great and that she needs to be on for them even if she's down.  As I've told her, when she's on her game, she's doing great with the kids, good behavior and not.  I've explained how I handle these situations (and she has seen me do it), that I don't expect her to be able to "control" them like robots, and that when they misbehave that's not her fault.  When we interviewed each candidate, we said that they have to expect that sometimes the kids don't do exactly what we want the first time, with actual scenarios.  But obviously, living it is different than hearing about it.

Any advice for dealing with the expectations regarding child management and the AP's taking the kids' behavior personally?  She does seem to exhibit some of the attitude you describe (wanting it to work and not quit) and I know it's very early on (less than a week), but it is draining to have to give her pep talks every other day.  I want to help her and I think she has the potential to be great, but I'm can't eliminate pretty normal kid (mis)behavior or be Dr. Phil for the AP week in and week out. TIA, again.[/quote]

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