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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, this afternoon we are saying goodbye to an AP who was just like yours - a year ago. She was so homesick and withdrawn for the first several weeks and even months - it was by far the hardest transition any of our APs have had (we have been hosting 7 years). Our community coordinator was fabulous with meeting with and talking to our AP and also with getting other sociable APs to call. We also were very proactive w our AP and gave her a lot of support and hugs - but also very clear tasks she had to accomplish each day to keep her busy, and this helped. But before it turned around, it got so bad that I gave her a deadline at the end of maybe a month where she had to decide either to go home or else pull herself out of her funk - the sadness and withdrawn-ness were just so draining and depressing for our family. At the end of the period, she decided she did want to stay and was going to do everything possible to be successful. And she was. It was a great year in which she made a ton of friends, grew up in so many ways, became an independent young woman rather than a scared little girl, and traveled all across the country to 24 states. She is leaving today to travel to Denver and Seattle on her own - I can't believe that the confident young woman who is leaving us is the same person who just a year ago was such a basket case.

So op, yes, it can turn around IF she wants to do this and if you're willing to put in the effort to help her. We broke down the AP job into three categories: care for children, friendships, and relationship with the family and worked with her on one aspect at a time. Because she was such a mess at first, we forefronted friendships and worked very hard to help her develop a social network. The second thing was to tell her that she didn't have to BE happy to be with us but she did have to ACT happy around the children. This also helped a lot since her mood really impacted her relationship w them in the first weeks and months. Finally, around October or November she she was finally happy socially and better with the children, we consciously worked on her relationship w us.

In the end, she turned out to be one of the most flexible, willing, capable APs we have had. I do think that making a success of what started out to be a failure of a situation was an incredible learning experience for her and she now knows she can do anything if she just wants to. She is so proud of herself and knows that it was her own effort that made her so successful.

Good luck, op, and know that it can indeed get better and be very very good even after a tough start. [/quote]

OP here.  Thanks so much for sharing your success story.  You sound like a great host mom.  We are working with her and she seems to want to make it work and stick it out.  She is feeling a bit better and is going to be meeting up with local APs in the next couple days.  Hope it works out, but it helps a lot to know how you approached the situation. [/quote]

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