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[quote=Anonymous]I think you will have to step in.  My nanny has to deal w/ three sets of grandparents that come to visit at various times.  None are local, which means that when they come they stay with us for up to a week at a time.  They each pose challenges (to me/husband and nanny!)

If you value and want to keep your nanny I think you have to buffer her and set up some ground rules for these visits, and also how your MIL interacts w/ her.  The nanny cannot be disrespectful to your MIL.  That's non-negotiable.  However, your MIL needs to understand that your nanny is making your life possible, is being paid to be the primary caregiver when you are not there (and is fully authorized to behave that way and has your backing and trust), and you need your MIL to work with you in making sure you keep someone who want to stay with you to care for your child.

The nanny is in a difficult place - this isn't a relationship between two peers - the MIL is, by nature, an extension of the nanny's employers.  So she can't handle that interaction the way she would if they were simply acquaintances.  It's on you to ensure a comfortable working environment for the nanny - and that may mean curtailing your MIL.

Maybe it's possible to set up a rough schedule for the MIL visits?  Or even a MIL/grandchild time during which the nanny does laundry, or gets lunch out, or even comes late one morning/leaves early, etc...?

I guess I'm really sympathizing w/ the nanny here but I can only imagine having a grandparent hovering over me all the time while I'm trying to do my job.  Let alone one who I feel like is criticizing me regularly.

If you don't step in you'll lose the nanny, and probably any others who follow her.  You need to set some ground rules for the MIL.[/quote]

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