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[quote=Anonymous]Holy smokes. Why wouldn't you get involved if you don't want to lose your nanny? This is your responsibility to sort out. Somehow, you need to let your MIL know that she needs to *Back Off!*and let the nanny get on with her job. Can you ask your husband to talk to his mother about this?

If not, you could try:

To MIL: I know how much you care about your grandkids and I really appreciate that, and I know that when you talk to the nanny about her job you are trying to do what's best for our family. Unfortunately the nanny doesn't come from a family like ours and I think she might be misunderstanding where you're coming from and it is obviously causing some tension. We think the nanny is doing a good job and we want her to feel good about her job. I wonder if you think she needs some guidance or help if you can talk to me about it and then I can talk to her. Since she sees me as her employer that might make the most sense to her. How do you feel about that? I just really want everyone to be happy and get along, especially in the interests of the kids.

To the nanny: I want you to know that my husband and I think you're doing an awesome job. I'm sorry if some of the things my MIL has said have rubbed you the wrong way. She's very direct and comes from a different family background than maybe you or I are used to. It might feel like she is questioning your ability but her comments aren't meant as critically as they might seem. I have asked her to come to me if she feels you need guidance in any areas, and I'll ask you to also come to me if there are any situations that you are uncomfortable with. If we are open and honest hopefully we can all get along. We really want you to be happy working for us.[/quote]

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