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[quote=Anonymous]We are considering getting an au pair. In the past with a live-in nanny we said that when the parents took over childcare duties her workday was finished, so even if she was still with us having a meal and helping to clean up after, this was part of being a member of the household, not part of her job. This means that she didn't have to eat with us if she didn't want to, e.g. if we took over at 6:00 she could take off for the evening or stay and have dinner with us, though when we offered her the job we did say that we preferred her to have weekday dinners with the family. We were lucky in that we had a great relationship with her and she had dinner with us Mon-Thurs nights and was super helpful with prep/clean-up. We once tried another live-in and it was difficult as she would suddenly decide that she didn't want dinner at the last moment, which was confusing for the kids plus we would be left with a lot of left-overs despite our careful planning. I'd be interested to know how families handle this with an au pair/what the usual arrangement is. Thanks![/quote]

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