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Reply to "How to address unwanted commentary from nanny?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here -- would you believe she's in her 50s? I think she is sort of looking for "insta-family", where she can have that kind of role. Unfortunately, we're not it. Thanks for the advice. Follow-up question -- if we hire a new nanny and he/she asks what happened to the old one, what would you say?[/quote] NP here. Yes, as soon as I read your post I thought you must be describing an older nanny. Is she from another country? My guess would be that she is, as that kind of commentary is often a cultural thing when older women are 'entitled' to teach younger people - even their bosses - because of their greater experience. I wouldn't be comfortable with it either, OP, so I'm not trying to excuse it, but you should know that this isn't uncommon and she almost certainly doesn't mean anything bad by it. I'm not sure if a speech would make a difference, it would probably just put her on edge and make her feel defensive, but I'm curious what you say to her now when she makes those comments? If you shut her down with a short but firm, "We're really happy with our wallpaper and it's hurtful to hear people criticize it," or, "We all have our vices... mine happens to be soda, what's yours?" you might find you'll get further in your relationship. If you've tried that unsuccessfully or aren't interested in trying it, go for a younger (but not young, something like 25-35) nanny who won't be as likely to feel entitled to criticize you and your choices.[/quote]
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