Reply to Critical/judgmental AP...does it get any better?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think this is definitely a coping mechanism for a lot of people experiencing a new country, culture shock, missing home, etc.  Even if the person is excited about spending a year in a new country.  But I agree that using the comments to start a productive dialogue in the spirit of cultural exchange is the best way to deal with it so that the comments CAN indeed lead to a cultural dialogue and don't just become a grating habit.

We have had two au pairs (both from the same region in Europe) who spoke like this.  It got better as time wore on, but never totally went away.  But it also seemed to be reflective of a regional attitude / speech pattern (absolutisms, tendency to speak defensively and not admit when wrong, etc.) that is a common stereotype for folks from that part of Europe.  (Flamers - note I say and recognize that it is a stereotype; we have certainly known people from that area of the world who do NOT speak that way, and recognize that the majority of people from that area of the world probably don't speak that way, just as not all Americans are fat.)

What was also interesting / somewhat infuriating about this attitude/speech pattern from these two particular au pairs is that their entire goal in coming to American on the au pair program was to figure out how to stay here indefinitely rather than going back to their home country, where supposedly everything is less "stupid" and works much better than in America - yet they are doing everything in their power never to go back.  But - we try to remember that, infuriating as some of the comments and attitudes are, they really are some sort of defense mechanism.  And also, we realize that even when you strive to move to America because there are more opportunities for jobs, freedom, etc. here, that does not mean that you are not homesick for your own language, people, culture, food, ways of life etc. [/quote]

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