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[quote=Anonymous]1.  (Most of) you are way, way overprotective of your child.

I've been doing this a lot longer than you have. Please don't tell me that I can't walk your baby to the mailbox on the off chance that a kidnapper is lurking in the bushes.  If you won't allow me to leave your house....I'll leave your job.

2.  You put latches on everything...when your baby is 3 months old.

It's super fun for me to piss my pants because I have to unlatch the toilet.
Why do you latch a cabinet that contains Tupperware?  How is he going to get hurt with Tupperware?

3.  You think you know better than I because you gave birth.

You really proved that when you carried a naked 4-month around and he sh** all over your work clothes.

4.  You buy too much crap.

Extra clothes I have to wash, fold and put away.
Extra toys I have to clean and pick up when all the kid wants to do is play with the motherf*ckin' Tupperware.

5.  You are afraid your kid will love me more than you.

He won't. I promise. I don't want to deal with your mommy guilt.
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