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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am a MB and posting here would not be considered cause under the contract we have with our nanny, unless there was some confidentiality issue.  We all have pretty standard agreements so while i cannot say for sure, I bet yours is similar.  I can see how you would be shocked if what you think your nanny wrote was particularly scathing or unloving, but before you fire her, try to take a step back.  First, are you sure it was her?  There is nothing new under the sun in nanny/employer relationships, frankly, so just because you saw a post about an issue that you and your nanny recently had, it doesn't mean it was her.  Unless you already had cause for concern with your nanny, I would hesitate to fire her without knowing it was her.

Second, assuming it was her, try to put some distance between what you saw and your feelings.  Granted, I don't rant about work on an anonymous board, but I do rant.  And frankly if my law partners knew what I have said about them on a bad day, they would probably be shocked and hurt too.  But I don't always mean it.  Usually I have embellished their awfulness and my awesomeness in order to get my husband or friends to agree that I was right and they were wrong.  We all do this. I mean, have you seen the hyenas in the independent school forum on DCUM?  Those women seem terrifying, but I am sure it is stress relief! She may have just wanted a reassuring chorus of amens from the other nannies here, and now that she burned off steam, everything is fine.  Just consider that.  Even with play dates, nannying can be very isolating, and at least for me, I would rather my nanny burn off her anger at me here than take it out on my home, me, or my children in all the little hateful ways unhappy employees could.

That said, if she truly sounded bitter and it wasnt just an episodic thing, maybe she is unhappy and there isn't much that can be done.  You won't know that unless you talk to her.  Say you saw it and thought it might be her.  Don't say it in an accusatory way, and let her know that we all blow off steam and you don't truly care unless she is unhappy.  She will probably say it isn't her, and you can respond "oh thank goodness, because we love you and would hate to think you are unhappy working with us."  If it is her and she denies it, them you know she was just blowing off steam and doesn't want any trouble.  Or it may not be her.  Or it may be a chance for her to deny it, but feel comfortable raising an issue she has.

Either way, nanny/employer drama is so terribly personal, but try not to treat it that way.  That said, if you can't let it go, or the post reflected some serious issue that you don't think a conversation can smooth over, then I'd follow the notice provision and find a new nanny.  Only you know what is best, and I don't agree at all that finding a new nanny is cruel to your children.  As long as the transition is smooth and not unpleasant, kids move on very quickly.  There are a lot of cruel things parents can do to children - but replacing a nanny you don't like or trust (or one you think doesn't like or trust your family) with someone you all can have a positive relationship with is not cruel.[/quote]

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