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[quote=Anonymous]PP again... sorry for the glitches.

So, I'm thrilled that I have gotten what I consider "top-quality nanny care" from a series of 24-year olds at a bargain price of $24K.  I'm sure some former APs will jump on me for using slave labor... but the regs are what they are.

But it does lead me to my final point.  A nanny is an employee.  At the end of the day, you pay her, she goes home.  While you might have a friendly relationship with your nanny, and care about her as a person -- as an "employee" she is expected not to bring her personal issues to work, you don't make your personal issues her problem, she collects a paycheck and goes home.  (And please, I don't mean to castigate nannies here -- many feel very much a part of their families, and give excellent care to their charges).  An AP is structurally a different kind of relationship.  Yes, there is absolutely an employee aspect to it -- but they don't work well when people are unhappy, and there is an additional "family life" aspect that is expected.  She is a young woman, but the maturity levels vary.  She may be homesick, she may have trouble making friends, she may have personal issues.  You are expected to help her adjust, and help her get a good experience out of the year.  After all, she didn't come here JUST to take care of your kids.  They all want something in addtion.  Some may want to party, some may want to perfect their English, some may want to just experience living abroad.  After 5 years, I can say that a happy au pair is much more likely to be a good au pair.  It is in YOUR best interest to help her get something out of the relationship other than a room and a paycheck.  When the relationship is a two-way street, it works much better.  So think about whether you WANT to host an au pair, and whether you generally are interested and like meeting and getting to know young women from other countries.  If you're not sure about the privacy issues, but you generally feel that you like people you meet from other countries, it might work just fine.  If your stomach turns at the notion of having to "mother" (or "friend") some strange girl -- it will not be a good fit for you.[/quote]

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