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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Who cares if that's not helful, that's just the truth. Like it or not.[/quote]

Why are you so judgmental?  The purpose of the AP program is to accept the person into your home and treat them like a member. I think it would be exceptionally rude to plan a wonderful vacation and then leave your AP behind. My APs have come on all vacations with us that do not conflict with her own vacation plans. During these vacations, while she is technically working, having the parents there taking the primary caretaker role, together with many other relatives (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) then her "working" hours are really just spent hanging out with our family and developing personal relationships with each, while the kids play. She is an equal caretaker to the children as are the parents. If you have a good relationship with your AP and are a respectful MB or DB, then your each help out equally - one entertains DC while another packs the beach bag and the other tidies up after breakfast. That is the true spirit of the program. While technically MB/DB could leave all children related issues as the sole responsibility of the AP, I would imagine they would quickly be facing a request for a rematch. That is just not how someone who respects their AP or the AP program acts. The purpose of the program is one of inclusion. This is very different than the objective view of a nanny position (while I understand many nannies are equally welcomed into a family, I do not believe it is the general rule or expectation).

To the OP's question - we do what others have mentioned. Discuss any special things AP would like to see or do while we are there and make sure she has the chance to do them - to the point that we make it a priority.  We also plan one or two nights where we head out for a dinner without the DCs so she knows she will probably have to work two nights. Other than that, she pretty much works a shortened day and I carve out specific full days that she will have off. While I understand you want to stay flexible with what you do and when, you should try to identify at east one day when your AP will be fully off and free to do what she wants. She is provided the 36 hours under the program. [/quote]

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