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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you are not OCD.  EVERYONE has little pet peeves like this that are trivial but important to them.  There is absolutely no reason for you to keep your preferences to yourself and then let them stew as your AP unknowingly pushes your buttons or damages your things.  In fact, it isn't fair to the OP for you to say nothing.

I think it would be frustrating for the OP to feel like she is always being corrected about a series of little things and I also think it would be hard for her to remember all your preferences if you just mention them all in a single conversation when she first starts work.  If you have a household handbook, by all means put them in there.  Whenever possible, briefly explain the "why" behind each one--it'll make the AP realize that you are (mostly) rational and not just trying to control her.  Also, acknowledge to the AP that you know some of the listed requests are nit-picky, but they really are important to you and you need her to humor you, etc.  You might also invite the AP to share some of her personal pet peeves with you.  You may not be able to accommodate them all, but if adults are going to live together, there needs to be an open dialogue about living habits.

Beyond that, try to let go of things that really don't matter, but just aren't being done exactly the way you would do them.  For example, my nanny puts my daughter in some absurd outfits--mismatched, outgrown, winter fabrics in summer, sandals and socks in winter--you name it.  It drives me nuts.  I've tried to organize her closet by outfit so there is less coordination to be done by the nanny, but when that fails, I've learned to just live with the results because I know the nanny adores my daughter and I don't want to sour her enthusiasm.

On another note, please tell me more about your household handbook.  What goes into it?[/quote]

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