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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ah, ok.  OP, that makes your question much more clear.  Assuming you are within the rules of the program and that you are also listening to her individual needs and flexing where you can, really there's not a whole lot you can do.  There are always going to be host families whose "packages" are going to be more attractive than yours.

If it comes to a point where she's complaining non-specifically all the time, I really would suggest sitting her down and saying "I'm hearing a lot of complaints from you about your situation with our family.  We are trying very hard to make sure you are content, but it sounds like you're unhappy.  Is there something specific that we can discuss?"

If she asks for something you can't give (maybe no working on weekends, as an example), you are well within your rights to say "I'm sorry, but when we originally were looking for an au pair, we were upfront that we would need her to work some hours on the weekends and it is a requirement of the job.  If that's not something you are willing to do, then we will need to find a new au pair who can meet the requirements of our job."

If she just generally complains that she doesn't have a private suite or has to share a car or something, you can say "I'm sorry you feel that way - we tried to be upfront about our situation when we matched, and this is what we can offer to you.  Please remember that we've tried to be flexible in other ways and we really and truly appreciate all you've done.  But remember that all host families are different, and those with the most attractive amenities may have really difficult shedules, for example - they all have pros and cons.  We hope you'll be able to be happy with us, but please let us know if you are not, and we can engage the LCC in a conversation."[/quote]

Agreed.  One of the posters above with the similar situation (not great amenities and a full 45-hour work-week every week, but we try really hard to be flexible and generous to the extent we can, and within both the rules and spirit of the AP program).  We have been lucky not to have had our APs voice these kinds of complaints (though we have also experienced rematches - not for these kinds of reasons - and so the APs who have been with us "full term" have themselves come from rematch and really bad situations, i.e. with great "amenities" but really tough families, and I think appreciate that we try really hard to be "good" host parents!).  But I think if I had this situation on my hands, I would do just as this poster suggests: sit down with the AP and try to discuss it, and bring in the LCC if necessary.  But my hunch is that if your AP is a complainer about these "peripheral" kinds of things -- even though you are "good" host parents -- perhaps this isn't the best AP for you (i.e. not someone who gives her all to the job and the relationship, knowing that you are trying to do that).  That kind of resentment can eventually leak into other aspects of the relationship and job she does for you.  And if the other folks in your neighborhood have school-age kids and 30 hour work-weeks, but you have small children and 45-hour work-weeks, you will never be able to change that; it will be up to her to accept it.  Nor will you be able to suddenly afford a car for the AP if you couldn't before now.[/quote]

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