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[quote=Anonymous]You've gotten some great advice here! Things I would repeat:

Make sure you introduce getting a nanny as a fun, exciting thing ("someone who's coming every day JUST to play with you and the baby!") and don't let your negative feelings seep through. Kids are sensitive so this really means you need to feel okay with it as quickly as possible, or it'll stress your son out more.

Have the nanny start ASAP. You'll have to pay her, of course, but having her spend some full days with you and the kids, doing all the things you normally do (but with an extra set of helping hands!) will help ease him into the idea of having her around and teach him that he can trust her to cut his food, accompany him to the bathroom, help set up a puzzle, and so forth. He will probably say, "NO, I want Mom to do it!" to her a lot during those early days, and if you can gently encourage him to have her do it ("I'm busy in the kitchen, so you and NannyName set it up and I'll come see in a minute") without entirely stepping away, that will help to build a lot of trust on his end. If your son is really having a hard time with you both being there (and some 4YOs really struggle with that), remember that he will adjust AOK as soon as you're away and it's only the anxiety of you leaving that's stressing him out - you being gone is much less stressful than the possibility of you leaving (sorry!).

Maxy Poppinz is a great book, I'd also recommend it.

Hire someone wonderful! Preferably someone who's come into a situation like this before OR has a lot of experience with 4 and 5 year olds (or both).[/quote]

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