Reply to Nanny is great with baby, but not great with 3 year old. Will she get better?

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[quote=Anonymous]Common sense can't really be taught. I don't know many nannies who would accept a 3 year old's reason for not going to bed.

My MB also works from home. I wouldn't have lasted a week if I wasn't able to keep the kids out of her office during the day. The kids know that they have to ask my permission to even go knock on her door...and at least 75% of the time they are told to wait until later or until she emerges on a break. On average I only allow them to go to her office door once a week or every other week.

What concerns me most is your nanny's reaction to hearing that your 3yo would be home for the entire day. She doesn't sound like someone who is comfortable with preschoolers, or perhaps she just isn't comfortable caring for more than one child at a time Either way it's a problem that needs to be addressed.

It's time for a talk to address your concerns and see if she has any concerns. I think you need to bring up your expectations regarding working uninterrupted unless it's an emergency (or whatever you determine your boundaries to be). You could also address your desire to have your nanny provide clear structure and guidance, giving her examples of what you mean. Also invite her to ask any questions she has.

You've already given nanny clear directives on activities for your 3yo, and if she still isn't able to plan her time with your 3yo there is a problem. I'm not sure how to address that except to suggest that she either look online for ideas of what to do with preschoolers or check out a book from the library about children this age and appropriate activities to do with them. It shouldn't fall upon you to plan your daughter's activities...that's what you are paying your nanny for.

Unfortunately all signs at the moment are pointing towards your suspicions that she is much better with infants. I have an acquaintance who is a wonderful infant/toddler nanny, but has ZERO patience, instinct, or ideas when it comes to working with children when they reach 3yo. It happens, and in your situation you need someone who is wonderful with a wider span of ages.

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