Reply to How to tell children that I'm going back to work?

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[quote=Anonymous]Well, first of all, let yourself off the hook.  You're still a great mom - even if you won't be at home as much, and you'll find a great nanny who will give your kids tremendous one on one attention.  And your son has had the fabulous gift of all of your time so far, but now he'll be getting ready for school so this may be great for him.

Your nanny won't take your place - she'll expand his world and augment your role.  You will always be his mother and that will never change.

Our nanny adores our kids.  They are well loved and cherished and nurtured by her so when I have those guilt pangs I remind myself that they are blessed with extra love.

Your son will take his cues from you.  If you approach it with him in a way that lets him sense your guilt, conflicted feelings, regret, etc... that will significantly influence his response.  So try to think about that.

Also, there is much you can do to ease the transition for him (and you).  When you've gotten to the point where you think you have your nanny selected, have him/her meet your kids and spend some time with you all together before she's formally hired.  Then have her come part time for a few days and ease into the job.  This will help all of you develop comfort and familiarity so that by the time you're at work full-time the nanny is not a stranger - she's an established presence.

When you're hiring the nanny look for someone who has some experience coming into a situation like this.  You'll want someone who can understand your concerns and anxieties and be on your side and a partner in making this work.  Be careful to hire someone who you feel will/can work with you in that way - rather than someone who won't understand the situation, has no relevant experience, or feels very strongly about things in a way that won't work with your values (discipline, activity level during the day, eating habits, etc...)

If you are comfortable and relaxed with the change then things will be infinitely easier for your son.

Good luck![/quote]

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