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[quote=Anonymous]It's tough - you can make some of the suggestions that are offered here, but if an au pair doesn't really have the desire or gumption to get out there and make friends, there is not always a lot you can do about it.  Our first AP spent all her time in her room and refused to go out, even to the cluster meetings.  We went into rematch for childcare-related reasons, but it was all related; the AP wasn't happy, and a lot of that had to do with social life.  We tried really hard to make suggestions (go to cluster meetings, call the APs on the list, we offered to host an AP get together and provide pizza and beer, sign up for classes, join a sports team, etc.) - AP just wouldn't do it.

Our second AP was very social, had a large group of AP friends, made other friends through sports teams and classes, and had an amazing year socially (and was also a fabulous AP).  She made her friends very quickly (i.e. right away) - other APs she had met at training, at her first cluster meeting, and through Facebook groups. We didn't have to suggest any of it.

Our current AP is not very social; she doesn't want to hang out with other APs, didn't like anyone she met at her class, and her social life consists entirely of dating people she meets on online dating sites.  So when she is in a steady relationship (dating the same person for a few weeks at a time is how I am defining that), she goes out all the time.  When they break up, she's back to staying in her room all the time.  But we can't do anything about it; she does not care for our suggestions, and since she eschews the AP community, she has avoided her greatest source of possible companions.  Luckily, she is a great AP with our kids, and so we just have to acknowledge that she is her own person and can take care of her own happiness.  We think she'd have a better year if she made great friends to have adventures with, but after all it is up to her.[/quote]

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