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[quote=Anonymous]OP this is already a hard cycle to break and you're only a few weeks in.  In less than 2 months you've advanced her salary twice and she's now asking for several thousand dollars (presumably many weeks salary).  That's an every other week event.

This is indicative of serious trouble in her life.  The fact that it is happening so frequently, and so immediately upon employment, means that there are serious things going on that almost certainly predate her employment with you.

You are not responsible for her personal well-being.  This is such a difficult thing with the nanny relationship because it is so personal in nature.  I don't know what you do for a living, but would this kind of thing be allowed in your workplace?  Would you ask your employer for multiple salary advances and a large loan ever, let alone immediately upon employment?  If you're a boss at work what would this kind of thing tell you if you had an employee in the office making these requests?

This is not ok.  She likely is not ok, but that is not your problem and you have not employed her long enough to extend these considerations that are hardships for you, ill-advised, and very concerning.

If you don't want to fire her you could sit her down and tell her that you are not in a financial position to make her the loan she asks (or any loan for that matter - it isn't simply an issue of the amount), that you are not comfortable advancing salary, that you're very concerned at these multiple requests in such a short time.  Ask her if she is ok and if you can get her help of some other sort.  Ask her if she can continue to do her job (and acknowledge her good work thus far, outside these concerns) given your inability to continue advancing/loaning money.

You could even call her references and ask if they had any experiences like this with her.

But, bottom line, there are other nannies out there and you are VERY early on in this relationship.  I'm not sure I would ever have full peace of mind with this nanny at this point.  If it were me I would find another nanny, offer this one some fair, bordering on generous, reference and move on.

And, as me, I'm making a mental note to put language in my next nanny contract (should I need one) regarding salary advances and the like not being done.  We have language to this effect in my company's personnel handbook - we won't advance salary or leave (because leave accrues as a payable cost to the organization) to employees.

Good luck.  It sounds like a mess and like you have been MORE than generous, but you are getting clear, obvious, red flags.  I'd advise you to pay very close attention.
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