Reply to The perennial matching dilemma: experience or personality?

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[quote=Anonymous]We have narrowed down our search for next year's AP to two candidates, and I would love to hear input from other experienced HMs on what they would do.  By way of background, we are an experienced HF who has hosted APs for six years.  This coming year, for the first time, we are getting a male AP.

Candidate #1: 21 yrs old with experience as a teacher in a residential school for boys.  Has experience working with children both of our children's ages.  Has been driving in all weather conditions for 3 years, including during a year in the army when he lived away from home.  Seems very nice and flexible.  Has pets at home (we have several pets).  Has been harder to reach via email but expresses a lot of interest in our family when he does email.  First skype call went well, but he seemed shy and nervous.  English is OK.  Says all the right things and answers questions in all the right ways, but there isn't much "give and take" to conversation.  Answers questions in email but hasn't asked many in return and in general seems just harder to get to know.

Candidate #2: 19 yrs old with pretty stardard 19-yr-old-German-babysitting-and-coaching experience.  Has cared for children our children's ages but not by himself (as a coach or in a kindergarten for an internship), though has given very thoughtful answers to all child-related questions and has shown a lot of proactivity in finding out more about children (when he learned DC2 has a learning disability, he had already asked a friend of his  who is a teacher about how to work with a child with this kind of LD by the time we skyped, etc).  English is perfect.  Has driving experience in snow and ice but doesn't own his own car so still shares with parents (though says he drives 4 days/week).  Conversation is VERY easy with him and I feel like after two weeks of emailing and skyping that I have a good sense of his personality and who he is.  Asks lots of questions and always about the children - had alread written down their birthdays when we first talked, etc.  Has expressed interest in living with pets but hasn't done so himself (sister is allergic).

Although I present our job as being very challenging due to the children being different ages/developmental levels and due to DC2 having some special needs, honestly, it's not that hard a job if you're smart, proactive, and genuinely like children.  Previous APs, except for when the children were really little, have not had a lot of childcare experience -- we tend to be a "hire for attitude, train for skill" family.  Both of our DCs are now school-age so in school all day; we are a very warm and welcoming family who works hard to help our APs get up to speed.

So what would you do?  Pick experience over personality? Or personality over experience?  I feel like both candidates would do a good job, and I don't feel the need to keep interviewing anymore (and no one else in the pool interests me at all right now).  I am just torn on which way to go here and would love to hear "Oh I made this choice and I picked X and I am so glad/sorry I did,' etc.  Especially if there are any HFs with male APs, I'd love to hear your input.  BUt really any HF who has made this choice, I'd love to hear from you.

Haven't yet had either speak to the children yet - wanted to make a sort-of decision in my head and then have the children skype with the one who is our first choice.  Obviously, though, their impressions and reactions will be paramount in the decision, but I wanted to make a tentative ranking in order first.

Thank you![/quote]

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