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[quote=Anonymous]How can I tell a mom that she needs to stop being so passive agressive to me personally?

Backstory:

I've been nannying part-time for a family for about 6 months now. It's for a single mom with three kids. I've been nannying professionally for about 15 years now and I've never had to work with with kids this unhappy, undisciplined, and angry. Every day I really put my heart and soul into connecting with them and teaching them right from wrong, and teaching them how to appropriately express their feelings. I have formed really good connections with these kids and we get along great and I really do feel that me being a stable presence in their life is improving their behavior problems and they are happier. There's nothing like a big grin on an 8 year olds face :)

I have another job too (marketing manager, 35 hours/week) with a large company and I make a good income from this. I actually don't financially need the nannying job but I took it because I really do love kids and developing fostering relationships with them. I WANT to be there.

The problem though is with the mother. She is very short, cold and passive agressive. When she comes home I don't get so much as a look or hello. She picks up the kids and carries them to the other room and I let myself out without so much as a goodbye. If we do have a conversation, it's not really a conversation, and a string of passive agressive comments instead. Around 8pm every night the text messages start to roll in. "XXX did not eat as much dinner as he normally does, what did you do??" All of the texts are absolutely ridiculous and unwarranted. There was a three week period where I received daily updates on their stools because the mom thought that I was sneaking in unapproved food and giving them diarrhea (I would never stray form the approved food list!). They sound exceptionally ridiculous as I write them out here. Her kids are a lot of hard work. There are not 3 seconds of downtime while I am nannying (and this is ok because it's what I signed up for!). However I have not once gotten a "thank you" or positive comment from the mother. I can't even get eye contact. Most importantly, all of her negativeness sort of negates all of the hard work that I put in everyday all day. If I were a random babysitter, this wouldn't bother me. But I am their nanny. I am the person that spends the most time with them on a consistent basis during the week besides their teacher so I really make sure that they are on the right path.

So how can I bring up to the mom in person that she needs to be nicer, at least neutral, or I will have to find another position. I've never had to deal with a issue with the parents before! It's always been a behavior problem with the child, but never the adult....[/quote]

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