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[quote=Anonymous]We have been very happy with the care our nanny has provided to our 16 mo for nearly a year. She is very focused on education and activities – letters, drawing, reading books, playing at the park. She also cares for our 3 ½ yo a few hours a week – similarly she spends time reading with her, playing, etc. She has said to us before that she does not like picking up 3 ½ yo from preschool bc she feels like 3 ½ yo makes a scene and does not go with her. I have checked with teachers and other parents, who have all said there is nothing unusual going on. The first time she raised this issue with us in the fall, we asked if she was unhappy or if she wanted to leave us - she said no. Fast-forward to January - she is out for ten days sick (which we paid). When she returns, we have what I thought was a very good discussion about 3 ½ yo - I said 3 ½ yo gives me a hard time too sometimes when leaving school - she is just tired and is in a very oppositional stage in her development. Nanny and I discussed many strategies for working with her at the transition from school to home. Nanny said she thought this was a helpful discussion and that she would try to work with 3 ½ yo. Nanny also affirmed that things are fine when she is home all day with 3 ½  yo and 16 mo (like on school holidays).

The next morning, nanny calls at 6 am to say she wants to quit. Tells me my daughter is first child who has not accepted her in her 30+ years of caring for children. Says 3 ½  yo called her a "bit**" once when nanny did not get new library books. (I asked nanny why she did not tell us this right when it happened and she did not answer - I followed up with her preschool teacher who said she has never heard 3 1/2 yo use such language and other kids in the class are not using it either. 3 ½ yo does not watch tv so who knows where she picked it up and/or if nanny misunderstood). Nanny said she thought we were looking for a replacement b/c after being out for ten days I had called and asked if she knew anyone who could fill in for her since we could not take any more time off work. Also says she feels like my husband has never "welcomed" her in our house. (Husband sees her in the morning for about 10 min every day before he leaves to take 3 ½ yo to preschool).

Nanny comes to work today - husband apologizes for any misunderstanding. Nanny tells husband there is other stuff going on at school that she has not told us about. She says she has a problem with one of the au pairs who is picking up a classmate of 3 ½ yo - feels like au pair is trying to stay for another year and looking for another family to care for and that she tought we were looking for someone to replace her (nanny). Husband reassured her that this is all unfounded - we have been very happy with the are she has provided. Nanny says she does not want to leave us - but then launches into random discussion of how she thinks another nanny is watching her/following her at the park when she is with 16 mo...husband said the conversation did not exactly make sense and that nanny sounds paranoid.

I care about the nanny and feel heartbroken that my girls will miss her (and she needs the $$$) but the communication issues are a headache. Also, the paranoia issue I find completely weird. Have started to look for her replacement…and then she says she does not want to leave. Seeking advice.  
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