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[quote=Anonymous]Sounds like MB didn't handle this well, probably on a couple of levels.  But it also sounds like she simply can't/doesn't know how to handle conversations as a boss around managing children's behavior, what constitutes unacceptable behavior and how she wants that handled, etc...   If she's not comfortable handling that level of conversation then one can imagine how afraid she'd feel of a conversation where she intends to fire you.  That doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you - it's really hard to have those conversations and if you don't have to deal w/ that in the workplace it could be incredibly difficult to deal with at home.

If you'd like to follow up I'd suggest following her lead and emailing her.  Seems like she'd be much more comfortable responding that way - I'm not sure there's anything to be gained by a face to face conversation.  But in email, where she'd feel less on the spot, she might tell you more about why, or allow you to confirm that she'll give you a good reference, or something that might give you some closure.

She didn't handle it well, for sure.  Maybe you could have communicated differently with her - I would bet that part of the challenge for a nanny is learning how to best navigate the worlds of the families they work for and the individual personalities of their employers.  So maybe the difficulty of this will help you better discern some future quirk of an employer and more deftly navigate those waters when possible.

She's avoiding, but if you want/need anything further from her you'll probably have to manage your own anger to get it.  (Unless what you want is simply to give her a piece of your mind, and that's a different sort of thing.)  [/quote]

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