Reply to S/O "Do as I say,not as I do"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you need to realize that you have hired a young woman without much childcare experience, and so you and your husband are her childcare role models. It's basic human nature to look at others behavior when you are unsure of the appropriate protocol, especially with something that can be as individualized as child care. I think it also comes back to the fact that this is also supposed to be a cultural exchange, and so again, your AP is looking to you and your DH to see what is expected within an American family.

Moving forward, I think you need to have a discussion with your DH about appropriate modeling for your AP, and then have a conversation with the AP about the changes you'd like to see in her childcare techniques, and I'd probably say it to the effect of "We know we may not always be perfect remembering to do these things ourselves, but we are trying to improve at that, and we'd appreciate it if you tried to adjust as well"

As for the other behavioral things (like taking up the whole couch to skype) I think you can absolutely redirect this behavior as you see it. Something like "Hey AP, we're trying to have a quiet dinner/ watch a family movie/ do the kids homework, etc. would you mind talking in your room? Feel free to come join us for dinner/movie/after homework treat when you're done!"[/quote]

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