Reply to S/O "Do as I say,not as I do"

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Reply to "S/O "Do as I say,not as I do""

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[quote=Anonymous]OP ignore the nannies. They hate being replaced by au pairs. You would have a good chance of dealing with the same lazy issues from a nanny only the nanny would be skilled in hiding it from you because she would know it was wrong. Since your au pair is not hiding this, it shows that she thinks this is what you expect and you can correct it. Her behavior also is not because she is an au pair but her personality. My husband has the same tendency to be watchful for any opportunity to slack off on something. He always magically does less than me. This normally is not an issue but if I'm sick or have a busy week he does nothing because he sees me doing less.

I would not suggest starting out the conversation with a comparison. This isn't the point. You should clearly establish with your au pair what you expect her to do during her working hours. Make a point that how the children are handled during working hours is different than off hours. You can put in a no screen time rule during her working hours and a no phone or screen time for her while she is working. When she is off she can lay on the couch, ignore the kids and do whatever but not while she is on schedule. You can also give her a set of tasks to do while she is on the clock that are valuable to the family and keep her from sinking back into playing on her phone.

I would not restrict her from being in the family areas on her off hours. While it may take you sometime to get used to her being around, the best way to get to know someone is by having them around. Her intentions may also not be 100% wrong. She may be watching you to try to figure out what to do and mirroring you on purpose. Your husband's approach is more attractive to her obviously so she is doing this.  [/quote]

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