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Reply to "Nannies - would you be grateful for this or am I out of touch."
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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for all the replies - Good advice 14:24 I think we just need to sit down like you suggest and talk it out. I like the way you phrased it. To answer some of everyone's questions: I really hope she didn't feel like she had to go. We asked and laid out the plans/work schedule with her. We specifically told her that all her dinners/evenings would be free. Actually, when we talked about it originally, she was supposed to work a little more during the day - like do some activities in the morning/afternoon kind of thing. But when her boyfriend was added, and the week kind of flowed - her work was scaled back. We gave her the option and specifically told her that she could either come - with the lighter workload but absolutely have every evening off or not go. This actually started because she didn't have any Christmas plans and was going to spend the holiday with us. But then, we decided to take this trip and when we told her about it, told her she is part of the family and we'd love for her to still spend Christmas with us, so that is what we proposed - specifically giving her less hours with the kids and more "vacation time." For the record origianally, she would have been working full time (except for Christmas day) for us if we all stayed home and she would have come over either Christmas morning or she was thinking about coming Xmas eve to spend the night and wake up with us on Christmas. So, it's not like she would have had the week off if we didn't go. She brought up her boyfriend (and NYE) and DH and I talked about it and decided to offer to pay his way, as well as her evening expenses as a Christmas gift to her. And we told her that. We said "why not bring him along we'll cover all his and your expenses as a Christmas gift from us." Originally, we didn't think we'd be covering her "going out" expenses during her evenings - she would be more than welcome to eat at the house with us but we originally thought if she went out to party we wouldn't cover that - basically, we didn't think we'd cover incidentals. Then when her boyfriend was joining us- we thought we'd make that her Christmas gift - but again, we asked her if that's what she wanted. She was psyched and said they'd love to. It was less than her regular hours; she works full time for us. This was outside any normal vacation time. We have a contract where she gets 2 weeks vacation - one of her choosing and one of ours. This was neither. I think I'll just come out and ask her the way 14:24 suggested. We are close and I feel we have a great relationship. She's turned us down for things before (long weekends away for extra $$, and other type outings) so it never occurred to me that she wouldn't feel right declining this if she didn't want to go. Thanks for all the advice. [/quote]
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